Holy Guacamole!

     Disclaimer: Thank goodness many years ago I sent my tortilla chip bravely into the chunky green dip termed Guacamole and began my love affair with this most delicious dish! Yum yum!
     Two weeks from yesterday, aka LESS THAN TWO WEEKS now, I will wake up super early, travel to the airport with my family (A), say my goodbyes, transfer in Atlanta, land at the Baltimore Washington airport (B), meet loads of new people, board a bus to travel another hour and a half to Blue Ridge Summit, Pennsylvania (C), meet my roommates and all the other JVs serving in the Northeast region of the country this year, explore the values of JVC in an intense and welcoming orientation for about 4 days, then get in a car with my community members and drive five hours north to my new home in Syracuse (D).

AND THEN the fun really begins!

    Needless to say I am realizing how soon all of this is happening for me. I have many goodbyes to say and packing to begin (although lists have been made so step one is done). I have to get my heart to understand what my head already knows; that everything is going to be okay. My head knows that this is the best thing I could be doing with my life at this time, it (unfortunately) feels right not to be going back to SLU this fall, it feels right not to be going to grad school or searching for a big-person job just yet. I am meant to do this year of service. Ever since I heard what JVC was my first year at SLU I knew I was meant to do this. My head is very smart, it knows this is the best move I can make for myself and it knows this is where God wants me to be.

    But my heart, well, it needs to catch up. It is lost in the confusion of happiness and discomfort, of security and loneliness, of caring and being cared for, etc. It is excited and sooo anxious and worried as well. And so, I trust. I trust that my heart and my head will be on the same page soon, I trust that in two weeks I will be ready. Ready to board that plane, then that bus, and begin what is to be one of the best years of my life. I trust that I have many more people to meet in this world who I will one day consider to be my family, I trust that I have much to give and many to give it to, and I trust that this year I will grow in more ways than I can imagine. (Okay my heart is having a hard time trusting all of these things right now but my head is doing it's best at convincing.) [Do I sound bipolar? Sorry, I am just trying to explain the great divide going on in my self and attempt to illustrate the bridge being built between the two sides.]

     Don't get me wrong, I AM EXCITED! I hope Syracuse is ready for this girl! And I hope they are well stocked with avocados so the guacamole making can begin!!!