Affirmed

     When I was still in school people would ask me "What are you studying?" to which I would respond "I am majoring in Theology and minoring in Social Work." What would follow is a standard conversation where the other person says they have a friend who is a social worker and how much good a social worker does even though it is a challenging job. I would nod and agree, because the above statement is in fact true, but what I really was thinking is how much people ignored the fact that I have an interest in God and that (if they knew me going into college) I am somehow a disappointment because I am no longer a biology major on track to be a doctor.
     Now that I have graduated people ask me "What's next?" to which I respond "I am doing a year of volunteer work and then going to graduate school." Of course, then the next question is "What do you want to do with grad school?" And obviously the real question is "What the hell are you going to do with your individual life to secure a substantial sum of money and make a name for yourself to not be a waste of space and resources?" (Okay so my brain exaggerates on that a bit and it sounds harsh but I do feel like people are testing me to make sure I have started planning for the future and are being critical of my response to see if it matches what their idea of successful is.) Upon answering the question with "I am hoping to pursue a career in Ministry by getting a Masters of Divinity and work with young adults in high school or college" I see the approval of grad school wash over the other person's face only to be replaced by a fleeting expression of confusion which leads into an attempted (forced) expression of understanding and acceptance. To not be rude most people then try to save face saying "So you want to be a religion teacher, that's great. I hear there is a new pope." Head.Drop.Eyes.Roll. REALLY PEOPLE!?
     Okay, this isn't supposed to be me complaining, this is just to show you the typical reaction I get from people who don't quite understand what I want to do and therefore certainly don't understand why I want to do it either. There are people however that get it, really get it, and for those people I am sooo thankful!

     Last week I facilitated a high school girls' junior retreat at Bergamo center (associated with University of Dayton and Marianist but I smile with pride and claim the Jesuits as my own!). I have a passion for going on and leading retreats because of the marvelous opportunities that retreats are to get to know ones' self, others, and God more each time. I have met some of my best friends on retreat, gotten reacquainted with others, claimed my faith as my own, broken down, cried for hours due to sadness and joy, experienced the healing of forgiveness, and more. 

     Last week I was affirmed in my calling to go into ministry; it is a vocation really. A passion that God has given me to help others through love, acceptance, sharing stories, crying, healing, and affirmation. There is one part of the retreat, the closing, that involves an activity called Silent Affirmation...it isn't entirely silent but it is affirming! Each person is able to tell the others in the small group how much they matter and how important they are in the world and in each other's lives. It is beautiful; it is pure love that breaks down stereotypes, unhinges closed off emotions, and quite possibly saves a life. I believe that ministry is where I am called and I know that not everyone understands that but I say thank you to those who do. And I thank the girls I worked with last week for affirming my passion and vocation.